


Saving You

by princesskay



Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Smut, Spacedogs, Spacedogs Appreciation Week, bottom!Adam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 08:25:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6044803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesskay/pseuds/princesskay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nigel saves Adam's life, but in the aftermath, he can't understand why Adam is upset with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saving You

The room they brought him to smelled like mildew. He could hear the drip of leaky pipes somewhere deep inside the building. Even before they yanked the coarse sack from his head, he knew they were in a large, deserted building, most likely a defunct warehouse. He'd seen enough movies to know it was the type of place the victim of kidnappers went to get shot in the head.

It took his eyes several moments to adjust to the dim lighting. The rest of his senses had already taken inventory of his surroundings. Danger made him hypersensitive; not just touch and smell, but fear and the rest of his roiling emotions. It was a strange, detached feeling that took over him, like a part of himself had separated from his body. He could feel the grip of fear, but he couldn't act on it. He sat there on the cold, wet ground rocking, moaning.

“What the hell is wrong with him?”

One of the kidnappers spoke in a Russian accent. He was bald and thick through the middle from too many beers, but his arms rippled with strength. Tattoos covered one arm and hand entirely, while the other arm boasted work in progress. The other kidnapper was younger and quieter, with a thick shock of dirty blond hair. He smoked in the corner, cradling a shotgun in his arm.

“Maybe he's retarded.” The younger one shrugged.

“What the hell would Nigel want with a retarded kid?”

“Nigel always has an agenda. Maybe the kid knows something.”

“Maybe we should squeeze him for info while we wait.”

The younger man sucked on the stub of his cigarette, then tossed the remaining ashes on the floor. He paced closer to Adam, his glassy, blue eyes taking stock of the shivering young man on the floor before him.

“Remember Alister from high school? His sister had autism.” The younger man said, “You couldn't get two words straight of her. I doubt squeezing this kid would do much good.”

The older man grunted, then shrugged. He pulled a flip phone, probably a burner, out of his pocket to check for messages.

“Where are we in the time line?” The young man asked.

“He's got an hour.”

“Hey, kid.” The young man said, nudging a toe into Adam's thigh, “I hate to break it to you, but if your boss doesn't get here soon, I'm gonna have to put a bullet in your pea brain.”

Adam whimpered at the slightest touch. He scuttled across the floor to the wall, and pulled his legs up against his chest. Internalized panic clutched his chest. His head was filled was a scream, and yet, the only sound he could make was pathetic kitten mewls.

“It could be a fucking mercy killing.” The older man said, “Look at him. It would be like putting down a lame horse, ya know. Not worth much alive.”

Adam tucked his forehead against his knees and clutched his hands over his ears. The flippant discussion by his kidnappers fueled the fear coursing through his body, paralyzing him. Any normal person in this situation would be looking for a way out. He was frozen with fear and panic. Worthless.

“You're scaring him.” The young man pointed out. “He's going to have an aneurysm before Nigel gets here, then Nigel won't give us shit.”

“Fuck Nigel. He'll give us whatever the hell we ask for. I'm not scared of him.”

Adam squeezed his eyes shut, and prayed to God Nigel would find him soon. The truth was, these two men _should_ be scared of Nigel because Adam had seen more than once what Nigel could do to a person when he was mad. The thought brought him an ounce of comfort; he hoped it would be enough to sustain him until Nigel arrived.

 

~

 

Nigel got the call just as he was stepping out of a meeting with Darko and a few other business associates. He lit a cigarette as he stepped out onto the sidewalk. A light mist was falling from the sky as dusk faded into the dark of night. The stars were hidden by billowing clouds that threatened a storm.

Nigel tucked the cigarette between his lips and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Hello?”

“Nigel! I'm glad I could get a hold of you.”

“Who is this?”

He didn't give this phone number out to just anyone.

“Steiner. You know, Steiner Antonov. You sold me some china white a few weeks back.”

Nigel froze as he recalled the Russian mobster. Theirs was not a friendly relationship. Business was business and Nigel would sell to just about anyone, but the number of scuffles he'd gotten into with the Antonov clan classified it as a rivalry. The china white was not the issue. The infringement by Nigel's dealers onto the Antonov territory was.

“I remember.” Nigel said, “I seem to fucking remember leaving my calling card over a dead dealer with your clan's tattoo on his neck. Maybe you didn't get the fucking message.”

“I did. Good. We're on the same fucking page.”

“We're on 'tell me what the hell you want' page. Get the fuck on with it.”

“I have something of yours.”

The remark gave Nigel a pause. He glanced up and down the street, but saw no one. It wasn't unlike Steiner to create the diversion of this phone call in order to get the drop on Nigel. To be safe, Nigel flicked his cigarette on the ground and stepped back inside the building where a sniper couldn't get to him.

“Get to the fucking point.” Nigel said.

“Take a listen.”

Static hissed over the line as Steiner pulled the phone away from his ear. Nigel could hear shuffling and then a pained whine. Steiner growled, “Say your name.”

More static, and then, a familiar voice whimpering, “It's … it's Adam.”

Nigel stopped. Stopped moving. Stopped breathing. Stopped thinking. The only thing he could concentrate on was the pathetic sound of Adam's voice, and the plea pressed into his tone. A cold wash of mounting rage surged through Nigel's veins, followed by the flush of heat to throat and cheeks. His skin all but burned with fury as Steiner came back on the line.

“Look, I don't fucking know what you want with this half-retarded kid, but he was staying at your place so I thought 'fuck it, let's take him'. Must be important if you're letting him stay at your place, hmm, Nigel?”

“You fucking fuck-face buffoon.” Nigel growled, his voice trembling with volcanic anger, “You fucking let him go this instant or I will find you and shove my foot so far up your ass you'll be tasting my boot.”

Steiner's chuckle fanned the fire of Nigel's anger, and his hand curled around the cellphone until the edges began to bite into his skin.

“No, no you won't. If you don't come to me with your last shipment of cocaine, I am going to blow this kid's brains out.”

“You want me to fucking give up an entire shipment of cocaine? Are you fucking insane, you brainless fucking asshole?”

“You take my business, I take yours.” Steiner replied, “It's pretty simple Nigel. Bring the coke. I'll keep this kid – Adam, is it? - alive.”

“Where the fuck are you?”

Steiner gave the address, then added, “You have two hours.”

“I don't need two fucking hours. I'm coming.”

“Good. And Nigel?”

“What?”

“I have the place surrounded. Come alone.”

“I'll bring whoever the fuck I want.”

“Do that, and as soon as I see any of your friends, I'll pull the trigger on the idiot boy.”

Nigel gave an indistinct growl, and held the phone away from his ear to gather his composure. He swallowed back a string of curses, and put the phone to his cheek. “Steiner, I'll be there. If you so much as touch a fucking hair on his head, I will cut you to pieces and mail the parts to every one of your fucking family members.”

“Got it.”

The line disconnected, and Nigel was left clutching the phone to his ear, shaking with rage.

“What's going on?” Darko asked, stepping into the lobby, “You look like you're about to spit nails.”

“It's Adam.” Nigel said, stuffing the phone in his pocket, “And fucking Steiner Fucking Antonov.”

“What do you mean?”

“Antonov has Adam. He fucking took Adam, and he wants our last shipment of coke. I have to fucking go.”

“Wait, wait, hold up.” Darko said, putting a hand on Nigel's shoulder.

Nigel retaliated in explosive anger, knocking Darko's hand from his shoulder and spinning around with his fist raised.

Darko backed up, holding his hands up in surrender, “Nigel, fuck. Calm down. I just want to help.”

“You can't fucking help me. Steiner's saying I have to come alone. If I don't he's going to fucking shoot Adam in the fucking head.”

“Steiner is a fucking idiot, Nigel. I'm coming.”

“I can't fucking risk Adam's life. Not for a shipment of coke, not for fucking anything. Do you fucking understand, Darko?”

“Yes. Yes I do.”

They paused, gazing across the room at each other. Darko's eyes were dead serious, Nigel's filled with boiling rage.

“You have the address?” Darko asked.

“Yes.”

“We go together.” Darko said. “I'll drive, drop you off a block away. You walk to the place, and I'll circle around and take out the look outs.”

Nigel chewed on his lip and scraped his hands through his hair. He paced across the carpet, thinking through Darko's plan.

“You can't take them all by yourself.” Darko said.

“The fuck I can.”

“That's your enormous ego talking.”

Nigel grunted, and waved him off. “All I have to fucking do is get in there, and get Adam. As long as he's safe, the rest doesn't fucking matter.”

“I'll make a call. Get them to bring a car with the coke.” Darko suggested. “The cheap shit.”

“Yeah, good.” Nigel agreed. “Even if this fucking trade goes like Steiner wants it to, I'm not fucking giving him my good coke.”

“I'll make the call.” Darko said, holding up his cellphone.

“Do it.”

Darko ducked out of the room to make the call, and Nigel paced like a caged animal. He lit another cigarette and sucked down the nicotine until he felt light-headed. Nothing could ease the fear and panic he felt at the thought of losing the best, purest thing in his life.

 

~

 

It was half past midnight when Darko steered the black sedan down an alley two blocks south of the location Steiner had given them. It was the bad side of L.A., plenty of gang activity and a good chance of getting shot by the bangers just for stepping on their territory. It was also the periphery of the Antonov territory, just enough of a neutral zone to have Antonov's clan, and the gang on the other side of the line working against Nigel.

“Man, fuck this guy.” Darko groused, slamming the car into park.

“It's fucking fine. I've got this.” Nigel said, taking the .45 out of the dash. He popped the clip to make sure the ammo was full, released the safety, and tugged back the slide. Anyone who came near him would get their fucking head blown off instantly.

“Don't get yourself shot in the fucking back.” Darko said.

“When am I not fucking careful, eh?”

Darko gave him a dubious look. Nigel stuffed the gun in the back of his pants, and stepped out of the car. He retrieved two duffel bags from the backseat. They were both filled with the cheap shit that took more than one hit of to get a high. Steiner would shit himself if he figured out what Nigel was trading him.

Nigel slung the bags over his shoulder and took off down the alley. He walked with one hand behind his back, fingers loose around the butt of the gun. He was fully alert and combing the streets and rooftops for movement, his eyes peering through the dark of the night. Street lamps were few and far between in this area, most of them burned out or fallen down during traffic accidents. The government wasn't interested in fixing up this section of town.

Nigel walked at a fast clip all the way to the address Steiner had given him. The duffel bags were growing heavy on his shoulder, but his focus never wavered from the goal of retrieving Adam. He stepped up to the front door of the warehouse and beat his fist on the iron.

“Who is it?” A voice came from inside.

“It's fucking Nigel. Open the fucking door and let me talk to Steiner.”

The door cracked open and a young man with a shaved head and tattoos all over his face peered out.

“Are you alone?”

“That was the fucking deal, right?” Nigel said, “Open the fucking door.”

The door opened wider to reveal another man, holding a huge, Magnum revolver. He glanced out onto the street, looking for accomplices, but Darko was nowhere in sight.

“Fucking happy?” Nigel asked, sweeping his hand to the empty street behind them.

“Fine. Get in here.”

Nigel stepped out of the threshold and was immediately shoved against the wall by the Magnum toting lookout. He handed the duffel bags off the skinnier guy and patted Nigel down with rough but thorough hands. He found the gun tucked against Nigel's back, and the knife in his pocket.

He chuckled as he handed off the weapons.

“What made you think you'd get to Steiner armed like that?” He asked.

“I have to fucking defend myself in the shit-stained neighborhood.” Nigel replied, “It's fucking dangerous out there, you know.”

“For a two-faced rat like yourself it is.”

“Who the fuck you calling in a rat?” Nigel snapped, pushing away from the wall.

The guy brought the Magnum to bear, holding it within two inches of Nigel's forehead.

“Hey, hey, this is a friendly visit.” Steiner voice echoed from the hallway beyond. He stepped into the bare illumination of the entry room, a smile touching his mouth.

“Steiner,” Nigel said, inclining his head in a greeting, “You're fatter than I fucking remember last time we met.”

Steiner chuckled, “Last time we met, I didn't know you were a fucking faggot, Nigel.”

Nigel's eyes narrowed, instant heat clawing it's way up his chest. If Adam's life hadn't been on the line he would have attacked right here and now, hoping to take down as many as he could before getting shot. One of the many reasons he had so many scars all over his body was that he had a habit of letting his emotions take control of him. Darko often told him it was going to be his downfall one day.

“I wasn't sure what you wanted with that kid.” Steiner said, poising his hands on his hips, “Then we had our little conversation over the phone, and I could hear the panic in your voice. I've got a few regular whores, I understand. It's a difficult thing, thinking about having to replace a good piece of ass that's loyal too.”

“You shut the fuck up.” Nigel said, taking a lunging step toward Steiner.

The Magnum slammed against his breastbone, throwing him back against the wall. The flare of pain didn't even begin to rival the heat of anger churning through his veins.

“So, he's more than a piece of ass.” Steiner said, “I see. Good to know.”

“Can we fucking get down to this trade?” Nigel asked, “Between you and me, Steiner, I'd rather not stand here all fucking night looking at your fucking ugly face, and listening to your bullshit.”

“Right, right, the trade.” Steiner smiled, “I'm just having myself a good time, Nigel. It's not every day I get see you pinned to a wall, and desperate to get your fuckboy back.”

“What do you fucking care?” Nigel hissed, “I'm the one who started selling on your fucking territory. Adam is innocent.”

“Oh, Nigel, what's happened to you?” Steiner asked, stepping closer to look into Nigel's eyes, “You know nobody in this business is safe. Especially family. And they sure as hell aren't innocent.”

“You fucking let him go. You have your drugs.” Nigel said.

“Come with me.” Steiner said, motioning to the hallway.

The lookout holding the Magnum released Nigel from the wall. Nigel straightened and smoothed his shirt down. He cast a withering glare at the lookout as he followed Steiner down the hallway.

Steiner took them down several dark, wet passages before he stopped at an iron door with a small, square window. Nigel caught a glimpse of the interior of the room as Steiner knocked on the door and announced that it was him. He could see Adam curled up in the corner. His fingers curled into fists, aching to feel Adam's skin under his hands, to know that he was safe.

The door swung open and Steiner admitted them inside. He passed the duffel bags off to his brother Artur.

“I want you to check the stuff.” Steiner said to Artur. “Make sure he's not tricking us. He's a slippery bastard.”

“Can I go to him?” Nigel asked, motioning to Adam.

“Sure.” Steiner said with a shrug, “If I find out you're tricking me, you're both dead anyway.”

Nigel rushed across the room to Adam, and fell to his knees next to the shivering, curled up boy.

“Adam, baby, are you okay?” He whispered, pulling Adam's head to his chest.

Adam was stiff in his arms, a tremble working through his whole body. He didn't respond as Nigel hugged him tight and pressed a kiss into his hair.

“Say something, sparrow.”

Adam slowly lifted his head and looked up at Nigel with huge, blue eyes glistening with tears. The gleaming fear and innocence in his gaze crushed Nigel's cold, black heart to shards with the same efficiency as his overwhelming, pure love made it melt away. Nigel much preferred his heart to be melted than crushed.

“Shit, Adam. I'm so fucking sorry.” Nigel said, cradling Adam's warm, wet cheeks in his hands, “Fuck, this is all my fault.”

“I … I knew you'd come.” Adam said in a halting whisper.

Nigel pressed a kiss to Adam's cheek, tasting the salt of his tears, “It's gonna be okay, angel. I've got you now.”

“Hey!”

Steiner's angry shout interrupted Nigel's soothing tone. Nigel looked up to see Steiner holding a bit of the cheap cocaine on the tip of a knife.

“What kind of fucking quality is this?” Steiner asked.

“You asked for fucking cocaine, that's what you got.” Nigel said, “It's time for me and Adam to go.”

“No it fucking isn't.” Artur said, bringing his gun to bear on Nigel, “This stuff is shit. We can't sell it on our streets. Words spreads about quality, you know.”

“I fucking know.” Nigel said.

“So where's the real shit?” Steiner demanded.

“One of my guys packed the shit up.” Nigel said, “Maybe he made a fucking mistake. I'll make a call and get you the real shit.”

“The hell you'll make a call.” Artur said, advancing on him with his weapon cocked.

Nigel held up his hands as Artur put the gun against his forehead. Adam shrank down behind Nigel, his hands clutching Nigel's shirt in trembling fists.

“You think we're stupid?” Steiner asked, joining his brother standing over Nigel and Adam.

“Yeah, as a matter of fucking fact I do, Steiner.” Nigel sneered, glaring up at the Russian.

Artur raised the gun as if to pistol whip Nigel, but Steiner put out a hand to stop his impulsive younger brother.

“I need him awake and cooperating.” Steiner said. “Trust me when I say this, Artur. You don't want to start beating on Nigel. It'll make him close up tighter than a preacher's daughter's legs.”

“Tighter than that, I'd fucking say.” Nigel said, “I'm not giving you shit, Steiner.”

“Then I guess we'll just have to kill Adam.”

Nigel shoved Adam down behind him, ignoring the whimper he pulled from the boy. “You'll have to kill me first and then you get fucking nothing.”

“Ah, Nigel.” Steiner said, putting a hand to his forehead, “You're really fucking stupid, you know that? You want to die here?”

“Fuck no. But this is bad fucking business, and I don't do bad business with cunts like you.”

Steiner sighed and turned in a slow circle to think through the situation. He paced away from the corner, his hands braced on his forehead.

Nigel shifted his gaze to Artur. Artur put the gun back against his forehead, and narrowed his eyes.

“You gonna fucking shoot me, Artur?” Nigel asked, “I don't think your brother would be very fucking happy with you.”

Artur glared, but remained mute.

“Yeah, I would get fucking sick of him telling me what to do if I were you.” Nigel added, “This is your business too, isn't it, Artur?”

“Yeah, it fucking is.”

“Then fucking do something about it.”

Artur's eyes flashed. His grip tightened around the butt of the gun, and Nigel felt the barrel shift forward against his skull. Nigel jerked his head to the side, just as Artur began to increase the pressure, causing Artur's arm and the gun to fly past Nigel's ear and toward the wall. Nigel grabbed Artur by the forearm and wrist, shoving his arm up at the elbow. He heard the cartilage and bone break under the pressure, and kept pushing until Artur's elbow was bent backwards. The gun clattered to the floor and Artur screamed in pain. Nigel shut him up with the heel of his hand to Artur face. Blood spewed from his nose and mouth as Nigel dropped his body to the floor and snatched up his gun.

The gun was already cocked; Steiner didn't have enough time to draw his own weapon. His face stretched wide in horror as he turned around to see Nigel pointing the gun at him. Nigel savored the moment for a few short seconds before pulling the trigger. The first bullet slammed into Steiner's shoulder, spinning him around and throwing him back against the wall. The third and fourth embedded in his stomach, driving Steiner to the ground, and leaving a huge swipe of blood on the wall like an artist's brush stroke on a canvas. As Nigel charged across the room, he emptied the clip into Steiner's chest, and landed the final three in his face.

He stopped just short of Steiner's feet, breathing hard and inhaling the smell of gun smoke filling the tiny room. His ears rang dimly from the blast of gunfire, but the sound was overwhelmed by the pounding of exhilarated blood through his skull. He dropped the empty gun to the floor between Steiner's legs, and dusted his hands off.

He turned around to see Adam's stumbling to his feet. His blue eyes were set wide in horror, his face pale with shock. He was trembling with uncontrollable bursts of emotion.

Nigel sucked in a breath of relief and felt the sting of emotion in his eyes. He strode across the room and gathered Adam in his arms, crushing the smaller body against his own. Adam buried his face in Nigel's neck, sniffling in quiet whimpers that made Nigel's brain go dull with adoration.

“Fuck, I'm so sorry.” He whispered against Adam's ear.

Adam whimpered a reply and nuzzled against Nigel's throat, smearing tears into his skin.

The door slammed open behind them, and Nigel looked over his shoulder to see Darko step into the room holding an automatic machine gun. He glanced down at Steiner's bullet riddled body, and smiled. “Well, it looks like you've got the situation under control in here, Nigel.”

“What about out there?” Nigel asked, nodding toward the exterior of the building.

“It's all taken care of.” Darko said, “How about we get you two out of here?”

“Yes.” Nigel said, “We're going to have to find another fucking place to stay. Steiner found out where we fucking live. He came to my fucking house, and took Adam.”

“I'm working on it.” Darko said, “For now you can stay in the back room at the club.”

“I want around the clock security on that fucking place.” Nigel said.

“Already done.”

“Let's go, then.”

Nigel shifted Adam to underneath his arm and led the trembling boy out of the room. Outside, it had begun to rain in earnest, and Darko had parked his car at the curb right outside the door. He opened the back door for them and waited until Adam and Nigel were safely inside before getting into the driver's seat.

“Do we have a clean-up crew to get rid of this fucking mess?” Nigel asked.

“Yes.” Darko said, “They'll be here any minute.”

“This could start a whole fucking gang war.” Nigel grumbled, “Just what I fucking need.”

“I'm sorry.” Adam whispered from underneath his arm.

“Baby, no.” Nigel said, touching Adam's cheek, “No, it's not your fucking fault. That's not what I meant.”

“But … but you had to save me. And that made you … kill them.”

“Don't think for one fucking second this is your fault, sparrow.” Nigel said, firmly, “Get that fucking notion out of your pretty head right now.”

Adam blinked, and shook his head. “If it was anyone else, you wouldn't have gone in there like that unprepared.”

“I don't fucking love anyone else like I love you.”

Nigel ignored the sharp glance he got from Darko via the rear view mirror.

“Then it is my fault.” Adam said, his face crumpling with tears.

“Fuck, Adam. No.” Nigel insisted. He let out an exasperated sigh, but pulled Adam against his chest, “I don't care if I start a fucking war with the whole world. I couldn't fucking let you die.”

“Why?” Adam whispered.

“What do you fucking mean, why? I just fucking told you, sparrow. I love you.”

“But why do you love me?” Adam asked, turning his tearful gaze to Nigel's gaze.

“Don't you fucking piss me off, Adam.” Nigel said, grabbing Adam's face in both hands, “You fucking know I love you, and that's reason enough.”

“It's just … those guys in there ...” Adam said, his eyes darting away from Nigel's seething expression, “They said … They were talking, and they said they didn't understand what you would want with me. They kept saying I was stupid and retarded and that they didn't know why I was staying at your place. And that I-”

“Adam, fucking stop.” Nigel said, giving him a gentle shake, “Look at me.”

Adam eyes dropped to his lap, leaking thick tears down his cheeks.

“Fucking look at me.” Nigel said, clutching Adam's cheeks harder.

Adam slowly lifted his eyes to Nigel's.

“I don't know how to fucking say this.” Nigel whispered, “But you mean more to me than anything else in this fucking miserable world. I don't care what every other asshole says about you, you're … you're everything. Does that fucking make sense?”

“No.” Adam whispered.

“I'm not a fucking poet. I don't have some eloquent shit to say.” Nigel murmured, “I just know you make me feel things – strong fucking things, Adam. Things I didn't know I could fucking feel. It's like a fucking … a fucking world exploded right here.” He grabbed Adam's hand and pressed it to his chest. “Some fucking fragment out of the universe. It got right fucking here, Adam. You did. You fucking climbed up in my heart and got through the blackness and the anger and the scars and the fucking rage. You did that. Nobody else could have fucking done that, Adam. Nobody but you.”

Adam blinked, his hand spreading over Nigel's heart and clutching on his shirt. “You mean that?”

“Yes, I fucking mean every word, Adam.”

“Okay.” Adam said, nodding slowly. “I believe you.”

“You fucking better, you beautiful little shit.”

A smile touched Adam's lips, and Nigel thought he saw a glimpse of the Adam he knew, peeking from behind the curtains of trauma and fear.

“You're gonna be okay, sparrow.” He said, pressing a kiss to Adam's forehead, “I'm gonna fucking protect you, even if the goddamn sky falls on us.”

Adam nestled against his chest, and went quiet. Too quiet. Nigel was used to Adam talking nonstop, especially about space and things that Nigel didn't really understand, but he was accustomed to the talking even if it didn't make sense. It was a comforting routine, a reminder that Adam was different, but that he was the Adam Nigel had fallen in love with. It worried him when Adam didn't have anything to say.

Ten minutes later, Darko parked the sedan at the back of the club. He led them to the back door and unlocked it to let them inside. Nigel held Adam's hand as they followed Nigel down the hallway to the dark room in the back of the club. The purpose of the room was so that high paying customers could bring the prostitutes back here for sex, but it was furnished with a bed, and for now, that was all Nigel and Adam needed.

“Do you need anything?” Darko asked.

“Tell one of the guys to get take-out.” Nigel said, “I'm fucking famished. Are you hungry, Adam?”

Adam clung to Nigel's arm, and shook his head.

“You sure, baby?”

A nod.

Nigel sighed. He waved a hand at Darko, “Tell them to get take-out for two. If Adam doesn't eat his, I'll put it in the fridge.”

“Okay.”

Darko left them in the dark room. Silence settled on the room, and Nigel had the sudden urge to the fill the void with something – anything.

“How about a shower?” Nigel asked, touching Adam's cheek, “You've got some dirt on your cheek there.”

“Will you wash my back?”

“Of course, sparrow.”

“Okay.”

Nigel led Adam the the adjoining bathroom. The area was small, equipped with a sink, toilet, and a narrow shower, but Nigel could make do. He stripped out of his clothes, and helped Adam out of his. Adam was still shaken. He clutched onto Nigel's shoulder when he lifted his feet to step out of his pants and underwear.

Nigel turned on the shower and tested the water to make sure it was the right temperature for Adam. When the temperature leveled out, he motioned for Adam to step in ahead of him.

Adam took Nigel's hand and got into the shower. He huddled under the water, blinking the spray out of his eyes, and looking like a drowned rat.

Nigel squeezed in behind him and pulled the glass door shut behind them. The shower had barely enough room for them move around each other, but Nigel was more interested in holding Adam and making him feel safe than getting a thorough shower.

He kept his hands on Adam's hips as Adam washed his hair. The only sound was the rhythmic beat of the water against their skin and the floor. It gave Nigel little comfort despite the soothing heat of the water and Adam's skin under his hands.

When Adam washed the soap from his hair, Nigel took the washcloth and scrubbed it gently all of Adam's body. Adam watched him with wide, unfocused eyes that seemed to be seeing something distant rather than Nigel right in front of him. Usually when they got a shower together, it ended in something entirely different than getting clean; tonight, Adam was disinterested in the caresses that normally would have turned him into a wriggling mess of aroused cock and need. It bothered Nigel, not because he wanted sex, but because he was fully aware of Adam's fervent sex drive in spite of his disability. Like the absence of talking, the absence of desire was unusual.

Adam stood aside, biting at his nail, as Nigel took his turn washing his hair and body. He offered a tiny smile when Nigel bent down to kiss him.

“You okay, angel?” Nigel asked, dragging Adam into his arms.

Their bodies met, wet and warm from the surge of water above. Nigel slid his hands down Adam's back and waist to give his backside a gentle squeeze. Adam put his face against Nigel's neck and mumbled something indistinct.

Nigel sighed. “Okay, let's get out and talk about it.”

He turned the water off, and stepped out of the shower. He took two towels from the rack, one for himself, and one for Adam. Adam's gaze stayed pinned to the floor as he scrubbed his body dry. Nigel watched him from the corner of his eyes as he toweled off, trying to gauge what Adam was feeling. He'd learned early on that trying to understand Adam's emotions as an outside spectator of them was more difficult than understanding a normal person's emotions. Adam's Asperger Syndrome made it hard for him to articulate his own emotions, much less show or explain them to someone else. Often, he was like a puzzle that needed to be solved, and Nigel wasn't always up to the task.

In the closet, Nigel found some fluffy, black robes emblazoned on the chest with the club logo. He checked the sizes and found two that would fit him and Adam.

Clean and dressed, they went back into the bedroom. Adam flopped down on the bed while Nigel pulled a bottle of liquor out of the mini fridge and poured himself a glass. He took his pack of cigarettes from his discarded clothes and joined Adam on the bed.

“I'm no fucking therapist.” He remarked, tugging a cigarette from the package, “But I can tell you're upset, Adam.”

Adam curled up on his side and pulled the pillow tighter under his neck.

Nigel shook his head as he lit the cigarette. He puffed out smoke for several moments, hoping Adam would break down and talk to him. He wasn't good at this shit when Adam's disability started to take over learned behaviors that Adam had strove for years to maintain. It wasn't his fucking fault, of course; something had gone wrong in his brain before birth. The same could probably be said of a lot of people, maybe even Nigel himself, but they didn't have it as hard as Adam.

Nigel snatched his glass and took a swallow of the alcohol. He was tempted to get rip-roaring drunk tonight; then again that was most nights. But he should probably stay sober for Adam's sake.

“Don't tell me this is still about what those fucking idiots said about you.” Nigel said, glancing over his shoulder at Adam's curled up figure. “It's just not fucking true, baby.”

“I know.” Adam mumbled.

“Then what's up with you, hmm?” He asked, rolling across the bed to lay against Adam's back. He put his cigarette between his lips to free his hand to stroke Adam's cheek, “You know you can tell me.”

“You don't want to hear it.” Adam whispered.

“Of course I fucking do.”

“No you 'fucking' don't.”

“Hey, what kind of fucking attitude is that?” Nigel asked.

He sat up and tapped the ashes from his cigarette in the tray beside the bed. He took another long drag as he watched Adam's shoulders rise and fall with his shallow breaths.

“I just want to go to sleep.” Adam said, glancing over his shoulder at Nigel, “I don't want to talk to you right now.”

Nigel frowned. A tiny flame of irritation sparked in his chest, and he did his best to tamp it down. Adam was upset. Okay, that was normal after nearly dying. But what the fuck was this attitude?

“Why the ever-loving fuck not?”

“Because I don't!”

“I just fucking saved your life.” Nigel said, jumping up from the bed, “This is your way of fucking saying 'thank you, Nigel'?”

“No, I just-”

“You just fucking what?”

Adam sat up and turned hurt glare at on him. “Stop yelling at me.”

“What the fuck did I do to you? That's all I want to know.”

“I want to go to sleep!” Adam shouted, tears rushing to his eyes, “Leave me alone, Nigel!”

Nigel took a step back, his anger ebbing for brief seconds in the face of Adam's sudden retaliation.

“Fine.” He said, tautly, “Go the fuck to sleep.”

He grabbed his glass, the bottle of liquor, and his pack of cigarettes and stormed out of the room. He slammed the door shut behind him, and marched all the way out to the front of the club before the stupidity of the argument caught up to him. He set the glass and bottle down on the bar with a bang and put a hand over his eyes.

He hadn't slept in fucking forever, a headache throbbed behind his eyes, and his adrenaline was spent from the altercation with the Antonov brothers. The last thing he fucking needed was Adam being cryptic and emotional, but the response was more than typical from Adam. From the fucking disorder.

“Shit.”

“You okay, man?”

Nigel looked up to see Darko sitting at one of the tables in a dark corner. The only illumination was the glowing orange tip of his cigarette.

“Fuck. No.”

“Adam pissing you off?”

“Of course.” Nigel said, pouring himself another drink, “Did you hear me pour my fucking heart out to him in the car?”

“How could I miss it?”

“Yeah, then he fucking repays me by saying he doesn't want to talk to me.”

“He's probably in shock, Nigel. Did you ever think he's not used to being kidnapped and seeing someone shot to death before his eyes like you are?”

Nigel sat down on one of the bar stools, and massaged his forehead. “You fucking know me, Darko. Of course I didn't fucking think of it.”

Darko rose from his chair and crossed the room to take a seat next to Nigel. He clapped a hand on Nigel's back. “Loosen up. He'll come around.”

“He'll come around whenever he fucking wants to.” Nigel growled, “He's a stubborn little shit.”

“He clearly loves you too.”

“Yeah well sometimes he doesn't fucking act like it.”

“He's not like everyone else.”

“That's no fucking excuse.”

“Hey, you've got a semi-normal brain in your head.” Darko said, tapping a finger against Nigel's temple, “You've got no fucking excuse.”

“Who's side are you fucking on?” Nigel said, taking a shot of his drink.

“Yours. But sometimes _you're_ not on your side.”

Nigel lit another cigarette with the stub of the last one, and pressed it between his lips. “You some kind of fucking philosopher now, Darko?”

“I don't need to be philosopher to see that you're acting like an ass.”

“Don't I always?”

“Yes, but tonight that kid in there needs you.” Darko said, pointing to the hallway, “He's scared and upset. Go in there and fucking hold him like a good boyfriend. It's no different than when I'm trying to through to my wife, Nigel. They don't want to be saved. They want to be fucking understood. It doesn't make any fucking sense, but that's how it is. You either adapt to it, or forget a long term relationship.”

“Don't want to be saved? There was no other fucking choice than to save him. Unless he's rather be fucking dead.”

“Okay.” Darko said, holding his hands up, “I'm just gonna go. You're not hearing what I'm saying.”

“Okay, fine. Go.” Nigel said, waving him off.

“I've got guards posted.” Darko said, rising from the stool, “They'll be here all night if you need them. Hopefully you don't need them to pull you two off each other.”

“We'll be fucking fine.”

“I hope so. Goodnight, Nigel.”

“'Night.”

Darko left out the front door, and locked the club up behind him. Nigel was descended into silence. Nothing to do but brood, drink, and smoke.

 

~

 

Adam slept fitfully, tossing and turning in between dreams of a gun pointed at his head. The dreams were fluid, representing brief moments from the kidnapping, but changing details that hadn't occurred.

At last, at four o'clock in the morning, Adam woke with a start from a horrible rendition of the evening in which it wasn't Steiner Antonov holding the gun, but his own Nigel threatening to shoot him. He sat up, sweating and disoriented, searching the darkness for something familiar to hold onto. It took him several panicked moments to remember they were at Darko's club and not home.

Shaken from the dream and on the verge of tears, he jumped out of the bed and tore across the room. Yanking the door open, he stepped out into the hallway to see a light coming from the main foyer of the club. He padded down the hallway, sniffing and wiping the tears from his cheeks.

He paused in the entryway of the hall when his gaze fell on Nigel, seated at the bar. He was drinking and smoking, and cleaning the pieces of a dismantled gun sitting on the bar in front of him. An armed guard was standing by the door, still as a marble statue.

“Nigel.” Adam whispered.

Nigel looked up, sharply. The look of stony defiance crumbled from his face when he saw Adam's tearful, shaking appearance.

“What's wrong?” He asked, setting the gun aside.

Adam crept across the room, his hands flexing into fists at his sides. The air around Nigel smelled like booze and smoke, and even though he looked sober enough, the glassy quality of his eyes betrayed how many drinks he'd had.

“I had a bad dream.” Adam whispered.

Nigel set his cigarette in the ashtray and slid down from the stool. He took Adam's hand and pulled him closer. “About what?”

“About what happened.”

“Are you okay, sparrow?”

Adam swallowed hard, and forced himself to meet Nigel's gaze, “No.”

Nigel's frown deepened, “Is there something I can do?”

“It's about you.” Adam whispered, fighting back a wave of fresh tears.

“What about me?”

Adam glanced at the stoic guard, and bit his lower lip.

“You want to talk privately?”

Adam nodded.

“Okay.”

Nigel took his hand and led them back down the hallway to the bedroom. He flipped the lights on, and Adam saw that the sheets on the bed were disheveled and bunched from his restless dreaming.

“Go on and tell me.” Nigel urged.

“I had a dream … about you.”

“And?”

“I dreamed you were him.” Adam whispered, “The Russian guy who kidnapped me.”

Nigel's eyes widened. “You dreamed I fucking did that to you?”

“Yes.”

“Why the fuck are you dreaming that?”

“I can't control it.”

“Right. But fuck, that's serious, right?”

Adam paced away from him, scrubbing a hand over his face. He could feel Nigel's gaze burning through the back of his head.

“I dreamed it because … I think because I was upset about you shooting that man.”

A beat of silence before realization dawned on Nigel.

“That's why you were mad at me earlier?” Nigel asked, “Because I fucking shot that bastard to death?”

Adam stopped pacing to hazard a glance at Nigel. “Yes.”

“He was going to fucking kill us, Adam.”

“All you had to do was injure him.” Adam pointed out, “You punched his brother out and that was good enough, but you had to _kill_ him?”

“Yes, I fucking did have to kill him.”

“We could have gotten away if you didn't!”

“You don't fucking get it, Adam.” Nigel said, putting his hands on his hips, “If I hadn't killed him, he would have fucking come back at a later time to kill me. He's the fucking head of the organization. Cut that off, and the rest of it will fucking wither and die. Which is what I fucking want since he's been a royal fucking pain in my ass for months now. It's part of the business, Adam. If you don't take out the fucking competition they will come back and stomp you out.”

“But did you have to shoot him that many times?”

“Yes, I fucking did. If your next question is why, my answer is the same. It's a fucking message. Power and brutality is all these people understand.”

Adam rubbed a tear from his cheek. “Is it all you understand?” He whispered.

Nigel paused, his mouth half-open in a frozen argument. He scraped a hand through his hair, and shrugged. “Maybe, Adam. Fucking maybe.”

“When I yelled at you, you left.” Adam said, “That's what I wanted. Maybe you're right.”

“I don't want you to fucking yell at me, babe.”

“I don't want you to yell at me either.”

“Good, I'm glad we're fucking agreed on that. You could have fucking told me why you were upset before we started yelling.”

“I'm not good at explaining things, Nigel. I'm slow. You know that.”

“You're not slow, baby. You're just different.”

Adam chewed his lower lip. “Yeah, I'm slow, Nigel.”

Nigel sighed. “Fuck, sparrow, I don't care if you're slow. You can have all the fucking time in the world you need to explain yourself. But I can't fucking stand it when you push me away. That's my fucking job, okay? And your job is to pull me back in.”

“Sorry.”

Nigel crossed the room, and took Adam's hands in his. “So am I.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Adam smiled. The weight of dread that had been resting in his stomach all night began to lift. He wrapped his arms around Nigel's neck and buried his face in the familiar warmth and smell of Nigel's skin. Nigel put his arms around Adam's waist, swallowing him in an embrace.

“I still don't support you shooting a man multiple times in the face.” Adam whispered.

“I don't fucking support him taking you from our home.”

Adam pulled back and looked into Nigel's defiant, brown eyes. “It's moot point, then, I guess.”

“Yes, it fucking is.”

“I know you're not like that guy.” Adam said, “I know you wouldn't hurt me. That was just my mind making stuff up.”

“I would never fucking hurt you.” Nigel whispered, sliding his hand behind Adam's neck, “If I did, someone else can shoot me in the fucking face.”

Adam's smile barely formed before Nigel crushed his mouth against it. Their mouths joined in a long, slow kiss, Nigel's tongue stroking against Adam's lips and palate, his fingers lacing through Adam's curls.

When they broke apart, Nigel let out a breath. “Fuck, Adam. You make it hard for a man to even fucking breathe.”

“Well, now I can't sleep.” Adam whispered. He reached between them to feel Nigel's crotch where the beginnings of an erection were starting to throb.

“Neither can I.” Nigel whispered, thrusting his hips into Adam's hand, “And I've got this awful itch I can't scratch all by my fucking self.”

Adam surged forward, joining their mouths again as Nigel's hands rubbed down his back and over his ass, gathering Adam tight against him. Adam slipped his hand between the folds of the robe to find Nigel's cock. His fingers wrapped around the throbbing shaft, feeling it grow to full length in his palm.

Nigel grunted and moaned against his mouth. His fingers dug into Adam's ass, gathering the robe in sections until it was bunched at his waist and Nigel's hands were clasping Adam's bare skin. Adam whimpered as Nigel's fingers delved into the cleft, rubbing up against the puckered hole.

“Oh, Nigel.” Adam panted as their lips parted, “I need you.”

With a low growl, Nigel grabbed Adam by the thighs and lifted him off the ground. Adam clung to Nigel's neck as Nigel marched across the room to the bed. He lowered Adam to the mussed sheets and crawled over him, hungry fingers pulling back the robe from Adam's chest. Adam gasped softly as the front of the robe parted and Nigel's fingers curled around his swelling cock.

“Fuck.” Nigel ground out, his fist clenching tight around Adam's erection, “Baby, you're so hard.”

Adam whimpered and thrust his hips to Nigel's hand. His whole body shuddered, a thrill of pleasure seizing him at the touch of Nigel's hand. He could have come right then and there and been satisfied, but he wanted to feel Nigel inside him.

Nigel let go of Adam's cock and leaned back to flip Adam onto his stomach. Adam choked out a laugh at Nigel's urgency that quickly descended into a groan when Nigel ripped the robe from his arms and pressed him naked to the sheets.

Nigel slid down behind him, his hands gathering Adam's buttocks in his big, rough hands and spreading Adam open to his mouth. Adam gasped, his fingers grabbing at sections of his sheets as Nigel's mouth touched gently against his hole. The soft, velvet pressure of Nigel's tongue awakened ravenous need in Adam's body, and he felt himself begin to ache for release.

Nigel mumbled pleasure as he lapped at Adam's puckered opening. His hands spread over Adam's backside and hips, dragging Adam flush against his mouth. He buried his face into the cleft, breathing in the scent and dragging his mouth in a messy swirl against the hole. Adam rolled his hips into the ardent pleasuring, his back arching taut to accommodate Nigel mouth. The pleasure that worked through his veins was enough to make him hard, but Nigel was hungry for the evidence. He slipped his hand under Adam's hip and grabbed Adam's cock in a firm, pumping grasp. Adam bucked against him, a moan tearing from his lips as the sensations overwhelmed him. A scream built in his throat, but only a few, hoarse whimpers managed to reach his lips.

Nigel suctioned his lips over the hole and suckled long and hard. The skin ached in the grasp of his mouth, going soft to the pleasuring, eager to be taken. When Nigel pulled back, he tested the opening with the tip of his tongue. The flesh opened him, and his tongue cleaved the opening as far as his tongue could reach. Adam twisted and groaned, and Nigel had to grip his hips to hold him still as he pumped his tongue in and out.

“Nigel ...” Adam moaned. He cast a feverish glance over his shoulder, and lost his breath at the sight of Nigel's head bobbing over his raised backside.

Nigel paused, panting hot breaths over Adam's wet, puffy opening. “You ready for my fingers, darling?”

Adam answered with a vigorous nod. The clamoring needs and emotions tangled at the back of his tongue, all colliding at once and stopping him from verbalizing any of them. All he could do was nod and moan and hope that Nigel understood what he needed.

The first touch of Nigel's fingers made his body twist and scream in pleasure. Nigel dragged him back down against the sheets and laid a soft but firm hand on his lower back. He wet his fingers in his mouth before pressing them against Adam's hole. He pushed one in at a slow, steady pace, and Adam's body clamped around it, shivering and overwhelmed with the sensation.

Nigel murmured something soft and soothing as he pumped the finger in and out, and Adam felt the overload of sensation ease off to a manageable pace. He arched his back and moaned his satisfaction, urging Nigel to hurry. He wanted more, so much more.

Nigel paired a second finger with the first and pressed them inside. Adam's mouth fell open in a low, trembling moan as he felt Nigel's fingers stretch him open.

“Y-yes ...” He breathed out, burying his face in the sheets.

His hips rose against Nigel's hand, his knees planting wide on the mattress to display himself open and eager. Nigel crowded in behind him, his other hand rubbing up and down Adam's arched spine as he delved his fingers inside.

“That's so fucking good, angel.” Nigel whispered, his voice choked by pleasure, “Fucking look at you. So fucking beautiful.”

Adam moaned and rolled his hips with the rhythm of Nigel's fingers. He was taking Nigel's fingers smoothly now, his body open and ready, hungry for Nigel's cock. He bit at his lower lip as the words stuck at the back of his tongue, too many to articulate in the heat of the moment. But Nigel understood perfectly. He dribbled spit down the cleft and added a third finger that stretched Adam open to the gaping point.

Adam let out a wavering moan as he felt his body surrender to Nigel's touch, so open, so aching.

“Oh, fuck.” Nigel groaned.

“Nigel, please ...” Adam managed to breathe, “Please ...”

“You want my cock, baby? Is that what you fucking want?”

“Y-yes …”

Nigel withdrew his fingers and bent down to kiss the base of Adam's spine. His breath poured down over Adam's skin as he whispered a worshiping praise.

Nigel kept one hand on Adam's hip as he bent over to grab the lube and condoms from the supplies table by the bed. He worked swiftly, but with trembling breath, tearing open the condom and rolling his down his cock, applying the lube to both of them. He was generous with the lube, dripping it over Adam's hole and rubbing it inside him until Adam began to moan a demand.

Nigel smiled as he tossed the bottle of lube aside, “You're gonna come so fucking hard, Adam.”

Adam whimpered as Nigel pressed the tip of his cock against the opening, dragging it a slow circle over the sensitized flesh before letting it breach him. He pushed inside, inch by inch, filling Adam until their bodies were flush and joined at the center. Adam gasped, his hands scrambling across the sheets and catching on tight just as Nigel began to rock against him.

The rhythm started slow and shallow, but as the need rose into Adam like a tide, he thrust his hips back against Nigel's, searching for a harder, deep pace. Nigel obliged without protest. He grabbed onto Adam with one hand on his hip and the other buried in his hair, holding Adam steady as his hips slapped against Adam's backside. Adam cried out, pawing at the sheets, as Nigel's cock struck against the swollen bud of prostate and farther, as deep as he could go. Their bodies met with loud, obscene slaps of flesh that punctuated their pleasured moans.

“Nigel!” Adam cried, his body twisting in unfathomable pleasure.

Nigel eased to a gentle roll of his hips against Adam's ass, and then pulled out entirely. Adam's protests had a short life as Nigel flipped Adam onto his back and entered him again. Adam arched, his hands flailing through the air and grabbing onto Nigel's hips. Nigel bent over him, staunching Adam's whimpering moans with a passionate kiss that matched the rhythm of his hips.

When their lips parted, Nigel looked deep into Adam's eyes with an expression that needed no words. Adam clutched onto Nigel's neck, his chest bursting with love and satisfaction as their bodies joined again and again. Nigel cradled Adam's cheek in one hand, keeping their gazes locked as he shifted into a deeper, pounding rhythm that made the whole bed begin to groan underneath them. Adam's mouth stretched open as Nigel filled him, almost more than he could take. The huge blunt pressure of Nigel's cock inside his clenching body pressed the pleasure and need to his throbbing core. He could feel his cock resting thick and swollen against his belly. Every brush of Nigel's stomach against his balls and cock chafed the need to maddening heights. He clawed along the muscles cording Nigel's back, leaving rows of tiny scratches across the skin. Nigel growled, his shoulders bunching under Adam's touch, adsorbing and enjoying the brief pain and the feral need Adam pressed into his skin.

“Fuck, yes.” He whispered, burying his face into Adam's neck.

His mouth latched onto Adam's skin as he thrust, leaving purposeful suck marks behind as he moved down Adam's neck and shoulder. He clamped his lips around the ridge of Adam's collarbone, and then the hollow of his throat, turning the flesh red and wet. Sliding wet lips down Adam's chest, he nibbled at the tender, dusky nipples and breathed throaty praises into the skin stretched over Adam's heart. With his head resting on Adam's chest, he came hard, his body shuddering and clutching to Adam's in throes of pleasure.

Adam held Nigel's head against his chest until the convulsions of climax eased. Nigel murmured a throaty sound of satisfaction and pulled himself upright. His cheeks glowed dusky with pleasure, his eyes dark and glazed with enduring need. He slid the used condom off his cock and discarded it in the trash.

When he turned back to Adam, a primal desire darkened his eyes. He prowled across the bed to where Adam lay in a heap of trembling flesh and aching cock. Adam could see the command and the promise of pleasure in Nigel's eyes. He parted his legs across the sheets, and drew in a shuddering breath as he exposed his aching cock to Nigel's hungry gaze. Nigel sank down to his elbows between Adam's thighs, his tanned, veined hands spreading across Adam's alabaster flesh. He lunged forward, but his mouth was tender against Adam's balls, tasting the tender flesh with the swipe of his tongue.

“Oh ...” Adam choked out. His hands fluttered across the sheets for a moment before settled on Nigel's head, fingers catching in the silver strands.

Nigel licked up the center of of Adam's cock, following the pulsating vein until he reached the swollen head. Here, he licked his lips before opening his mouth wide to accept Adam's hard cock. His mouth sank down over Adam's cock, lips suctioning tight around the shaft on his way down.

Adam bucked against him, moaning in abrupt sounds of need and pleasure. His fingers clenched around Nigel's hair, dragging Nigel's head down on his cock with a demanding tug. Nigel choked for a brief moment and pulled back to the tip.

“Baby-”

Adam yanked his head down again and thrust up with his hips, filling Nigel's mouth with his cock. Whatever protest Nigel had planned to say never made it past Adam's thrusting cock. He took the thrust of Adam's hips in a stride, his mouth pursed tight and wet around Adam's cock, controlling the motion just enough to keep him from choking.

Adam kept his fingers locked in Nigel's hair as the orgasm wracked him with long, hard spasms, pouring his release across Nigel's tongue, and didn't let go until Nigel moaned in protest. Nigel grunted, his fingers digging into Adam's hips until, at last, Adam relaxed against the sheets, spent and satisfied.

Adam watched through heavily lidded eyes as Nigel swallowed down the cum. He was too proud to spit, Adam thought. He wouldn't have minded if Nigel spit it out. He just wanted to see Nigel's mouth on him when he came.

Nigel gazed at him, breathing hard. “You fucking amazing angel.” He whispered.

Adam smiled, feeling a blush rise up his cheeks.

Nigel sank down to the sheets next to him, and pulled Adam into his arms. Adam nestled down against Nigel's chest, humming his satisfaction.

“I don't fucking deserve you, you know that, sparrow?”  
“Mmm.”

Nigel stroked Adam's hair back from his forehead and planted a kiss there, “You're the best fucking thing that's ever happened to me, and I nearly lost you tonight. Hell if that doesn't fuck me up a bit.”

“But you didn't lose me. You saved me.”

“And I killed a man in front of you.”

“It's okay. I forgive you.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I understand what you mean about sending a message. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to date you. I knew it wouldn't be safe or easy. I don't really have a right to complain.”

“Anytime you're uncomfortable you have a right to complain. Just do it before you start fucking pissing me off.”

Adam sighed as he glanced around the lavish furnishings of the room. “This place is nice, and I'm glad Darko is letting us stay here, but … I want to go home with you Nigel. I miss our bed, and the star lights on the ceiling.”

“Darling, we can't go home.”

“Why not?”

“That location is compromised.” Nigel said, touching his cheek, “I'm sorry, we can't go back there.”

“Never?”

Nigel shook his head. “No, never, sparrow.”

Adam swallowed hard. He'd gotten used to their apartment. It was small and messy a lot of the time because Nigel didn't clean up after himself, but it was theirs. Their home.

“Where will we go?” He asked.

“I'll find a new place.” Nigel assured him.

“It won't be the same.”

“Of course not. But it's better than being fucking dead because word got out where I live.”

“That apartment is where I fell in love with you.” Adam whispered, “Where we made love for the first time. Where you told me you loved me ...”

“It's just a fucking apartment, Adam.”

“No it's not. Not to me. Our lives are there.”

“Adam, listen.” Nigel said. He sat up and pulled Adam up next to him. “Adam, we have those memories, all right? Right here in our heads. We don't need that apartment to remember the good times we had.”

Adam considered what he was saying with downcast eyes.

“That apartment is fucking awful anyway.” Nigel said with a rough chuckle, “It's dirty as hell, and we get fucking mice. We'll find a better place.”

“I guess you're right.”

“I know I'm fucking right.” Nigel said. He cradled Adam's face in his hands and gently turned it upward to look at him. “I know I'm right because nothing else fucking matters as long as I have you.”

A smile tugged at Adam's lips. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Adam put his arms around Nigel's neck and held on for dear life. “Okay.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Tumblr: [relentless-fire](http://relentless-fire.tumblr.com/)


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